A very beautiful friend of mine wrote this about a week before she passed away. Although I never met her in person her essence was profound and she will always forever be in my heart. Her name was Deb and here is what she wrote...
The things that matter.....
I seem to have so much time on my hands these days although not the sort of time I would chose if a choice was given, but time to reflect, time to think and time to straighten a few things out....
What matters in life...? I have spent my adult life working hard, saving all the pennies, stacking them away... why?
The dream you see... The dream of the pretty cottage in the country, the Daffadils and Tulips in the spring, the Lilies and Lupins in the summer, the sweet apples on the tree as the summer fades. I have seen the beautiful garden in so many of those dreams, ablaze with colour, vibrant and alive. I have sat on a cold winters night, the frost thick on the ground, in front of the warm open fire being mesmerised by the flames getting lost in the music they dance to. I have climbed the rickety old stairs to the rooms above and laid upon the cool cotton sheets on the old Oak bed.... This was my dream, my purpose in life but now its not so important, it would be nice but its no longer at the top of the list, no longer the ideal I yearn for.
Why? what changed.....? Life changed, maybe not for the better but changed it did and the things that seemed so important have become secondary to something far more so. The worst thing is that what now is the most important thing was there all along but just taken for granted and often overlooked and no doubt, on occasion, abused.
There are things that matter way more than any dream of a cottage, any amount of money, anything at all in fact......
These things will pick you up when you fall, catch your tears when you cry, carry you when your too tired to even crawl and they will love you without reserve. You can shout at them when you are low and they will not hide from you, you can tell them your fears and they will listen without judgement, you can sleep when they visit you and they will return tomorrow and the day after if you sleep again. When they are true they never desert you, never leave you lonely and never expect.
What are these wondrous things that I now hold so dearly to my heart..... They are simply Friends.
I have people I have called friends throughout this world and until not so long ago I would have said they numbered many tens. Now I can count them on the two hands I hold in front of my face and still have a finger spare in case another comes along :)
They come in all shapes and sizes, they come from all over the world and they come from unexpected places...
I have friends here in RLC that I now know would stand by me till the bitter end and that brings me peace and calm. I have friends here in RLC that are at equal to that and just because i may never meet the person behind the profile it doesnt mean they are less of a person....
To quote a few lines from a great song from the film Trainspotting. Shallow grave by leftfield!
Im not ashamed.
Ive known love,
Ive known rejection,
Im not afraid to declare my feelings
Take trust for instance, or friendship these are the important things in life, that help you on your way
If you cant trust your friends well what then, what then?
I trust all my friends, they are my they are my rope when I need hauling from a deep hole, they are my beach when I need somewhere to lay my head and they are my sanity when insanity reigns supreme.
Thank you for being here with me, I love you like brothers and sisters and my life would be an empty place without you being part of it...
My love to you my dearest Deb... i know you are where the angels fly and dancing above the clouds...
